When I first started making love I was naive... very naive. I knew little about my body and the way it reacted to sexual arousal - I didn't even realize what my orgasms were! And i didn't know half as much about my menstruation/ovulation cycles as I thought I did. I thought the most fertile, and thus most dangerous time when it came to getting pregnant, was just before my period, not the week or so afterwards. So keeping this in mind, I didn't think I would be at any great risk of getting pregnant when my lover and I started having unprotected sex (due to our somewhat unsatisfying experience with condoms). I fell pregnant six days after I lost my virginity.


Of course, we didn't just forget about birth control... we used the withdrawal method for a while.. and I went and got a prescription for the pill. And, at the time that I thought I was supposed to be ovulating (I wasn't, of course..) I went and got the Morning After Pill. It was when my period was a couple of days late that we started to get worried. I was sure that there was no way I could be pregnant. I was in total denial about the whole thing, and I hoped fervently that our risky methods of birth control was enough to keep me from it...


  I came home from university one day and my lover had bought a home pregnancy test. We sat down and read the instructions, and then I tried it out. As soon as I saw the strip starting to turn purple I knew I was pregnant. Although, I hoped it would change back to white during the five minute waiting time. It didn't. We held each other tight. I guess we were both in total shock. We couldn't believe it had happened. So, we made a cubby house in our lounge room and played and fucked - since we didn't have to worry about that anymore.


I guess from the start that we both knew I was going to have an abot\rtion. We really didn't have any other alternative. we had discussed the possibility of me getting pregnant before we had even made love, well a few weeks before hand. During that discussion my lover said that he would prefer that I had an abortion as both of us felt the we wouldn't be ready for a baby, nor could we support one. I, at the time, was totally pro-choice, but I didn't think I could go through with an abortion myself. Between that time, however, and the time I had fallen pregnant I did a lot of thinking and I came to know that having an abortion would be the only way I could really deal with an unexpected pregnancy, considering my circumstances and family background and the like. I did not want to have a bab at that point in my life. So when we needed to make a decision as to what to do, I guess we were prepared. Still, it was not the easiest decision I have ever had to make.