Last night I had a dream that I was arrested (while in Australia) and brought to the United States to go on trial for having an abortion. The arresters told me that they examined the foetal tissue removed from my womb and had discovered that there were no physical reasons why I could not go through with my pregnancy, and hence the abortion I had was unlawful and I was a murderer. Amazingly, I was able to think up ways during my dream to disprove their flimsy case against me.

In 1972 in New South Wales, Australia, Judge Levine found that it was lawful to terminate a pregnancy if the physical, emotional/mental or economic health of the mother was in anyway threatened. And since having a child at that time would have hurt me both emotionally and economically, and since I was referred to the clinic by my doctor and examined by another there, my abortion was, in all cases, legal.

However, no matter how hard I fought to show them that they were wrong, I still lost...

I wonder why now I had that dream... especially at a time when I feel that I have fully come to terms with the fact that I have had an abortion and that it was the right thing to do. The reason I came up with is this - I feel as though I am constantly on trial, like I was in my dream, when it comes to this issue. I feel I am constantly having to defend my decision to have an abortion and even my basic human right to decide what I want to do with my body, to decide whether or not I want to carry a baby to term. And I feel as though I am fighting a battle that I am never really going to win, no matter how hard I fight... Because there are always going to be these patriarchal, right-wing fanatics blowing up abortion clinics thinking that through this they will be able to take control over choice and women's bodies once again...

Maybe I'm being pessimistic. What do you think?