Now you're wondering why I did it, and why the next morning I got up and cut myself another five times.. and why the next day I cut myself so deep that I have a long thick red scar on my upper left arm, and then why I decided I had better stop cutting myself where people could see, and so I started on my legs... and why I became addicted to hurting myself.. Why I became hysterical when I couldn't find my razor blade and why I just couldn't stop.. and why even now I battle against the desire to cut myself up or beat myself up to feel good about myself, when I only end up hating myself more, because by hurting myself I'm hurting my boyfriend and whoever else cares and stuff like that... If you want to know why I did it, I'll tell you... I don't know.